I've Been Thinking About This…

The end of Proverbs – we’ve made it through all 31 chapters. And how appropriate to end up at this chapter that lauds the wife. Marriage is more than a contract. It is a 2-sided life-long commitment that must be adhered to without let-up. Diving in with both feet, supporting each other to the fullest, being strong where the other is weak, and each trusting the other’s strength to cover one’s weakness – these are some of the graces of the best marriages, and so they are shown here.

It is clear that this is a fairly wealthy household. The mistress of the house has servant girls to manage (v. 15); buys a field with her own money (v. 16), and is hardly likely to plant the entire field herself, so she must also be managing farm hands. She has applied herself in the past and can sew (vv. 21, 22, 24), weave (v. 19) and trade in the marketplace (vv. 14, 18, 24). She is also generous to the poor and needy (v. 20).

It is also clear that this is a marriage that has continued for years. She has raised children who are well-fed and clothed (v. 15, 21) as well as respectful (v. 28). Her husband is one of the village or town elders (v. 23).

The gates of a village, town or city were important places in the ancient Middle Eastern world. It was where the elders gathered (Job 29:7). They could see goods and people enter and leave the city – an important job for the elders, for it took the pulse of the community. Inbound people could ask for directions. Farmers off to their fields would be seen and noted. The poor could ask for alms (Amos 5:12). Discussions of weather and war would take place. Boaz came to the gates of Bethlehem to redeem and ensure his marriage to Ruth (Ruth 4:1-12, esp. v. 11), for this was where justice was executed and witnessed (Amos 5:15; Deut 25:7).

So when, “her works praise her in the gates” (Prov 31:31, ESV), just who is telling people about her works? Her husband, of course. Verse 23 says that her husband sits among the elders of the land in the gates, and he’s obviously been bragging on her in a big way. By the way, just because we don’t hear anything about what the husband is doing in the chapter, it would be wrong to assume he sits around in the gates all day doing nothing. This chapter is a paean to her, not to him.

The thing is, such boasting as the husband is doing has a manifold impact. First it protects the marriage from outside attack because it tells the listeners that he thinks highly of her. Secondly, the listeners naturally feel they should respond with some bragging on their own wives – which can only be a good thing. Thirdly, the word gets passed on to others, possibly people who will trade with her or just chat on the street, who will see her in an ever better light. Fourthly it will get back to her – and whilst it is always nice to hear a compliment first-hand, it is even better to hear it second- or tenth-hand.

What an excellent thing it would be if every husband would follow suite and boast daily about his wife!

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It would be an interesting exercise to take every proverb listed in the book of Proverbs and sort them by topic. Nearly 2 weeks ago we covered this verse:

… and here we are on the same subject. I wonder too – in how many verses across the entire Bible does God speak of His protection, or just say, “I am here”? We’re defenseless in so many ways, and it can be a great comfort to meditate on an all-powerful God who is present, or who will intercede on our behalf, or who limits what we must endure.

There is one difference in this verse though – here He is a shield rather than a tower. A shield is something that protects us, it’s true, but now we are on the attack rather than defense; in fact it’s more for deflection than outright protection (there’s got to be a song in there somewhere).

When we stand up for the Lord, our job is to trust the shield while we use the sword. Paul connects directly to this thought and this verse when he exhorts us to ‘In all circumstances take up the shield of faith’ (Eph 6:16 ESV) -

Here’s Baring-Gould, quoting from Matt 16:18 in his glorious hymn:

Crowns and thrones may perish, kingdoms rise and wane,
But the church of Jesus constant will remain.
Gates of hell can never ‘gainst that church prevail;
We have Christ’s own promise, and that cannot fail.
Sabine Baring-Gould, Onward Christian Soldiers

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The Great Banquet

Humility is the virtue, not arrogance or assumption. We often want ‘what’s coming to us’ – perhaps we should think more about hoping that we don’t get what we deserve. Jesus surely had the sentiment of this verse in mind when He saw the pushing and shoving for the best places at a feast:

… and when He gave the Sermon on the Mount He thought of it again:

The poor in spirit recognize that (1) they bring nothing to the feast; (2) they are invited by Love’s Grace alone, and (3) they deserve only to sit at the farthest end from the high table, if there. In such humility God delights, for He can use that person within His kingdom – so He invites that person to the head table, to a seat of honor.

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Oh, how money can turn the heart! When you’re rich, your whole life can revolve around the appreciation of money, often unconsciously. The thought of not having some convenience or luxury is unpleasant; but to be unable to send your child to the best college, or have the best insurance coverage is anathema. Wealth is the public indicator of success, and brings power and control with it. To be poor is to be weak and without support or admiration.

… or is it? If there truly is a world to come, and “we can’t take it with us”, then in economic terms everyone is equally poor in eternity – and we’d better reevaluate what we … um … value.

Integrity means ‘intact’ or ‘whole’, and by extension someone who holds to a set of high moral principles (MSN Encarta). It’s true that the author implies by context that being rich is better than being poor. However, he makes it clear that having high moral principles trumps either condition. And we should see the point: however it was acquired, wealth is an external characteristic, whilst integrity is internal. It demands discipline and will-power to take the high ground, especially when the alternatives are attractive or easy. We will make such choices in the next life, so that is the real treasure – one that we can take with us.

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Competition may be fun (if you’re competitive!), though physical competition isn’t very comfortable (I prefer humming). This verse carries the image of one man going up against another in some sport – wrestling, perhaps, or archery or fencing – and each is pushing the other to more effort, developing more strength and eventually more skill.

Alone, each man may have been pretty good, but together they can hone each other’s skills to a razor sharp level.

Similarly, accountability is never comfortable. It’s giving someone else authority over us, and we’ve fought all our lives to be competent and independent of others. We don’t want someone else in our face, monitoring what we do or say; we don’t want them critiquing our actions; we don’t want them calling us on doing (or not doing) something. Nor do we want to put ourselves under the authority of a mentor who will push us to do things we don’t particularly want to do, as if we were an apprentice.

I think accountability ‘is the new black’ where competition is concerned.

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There are times when justice should be demanded – when we should shout out for wrongs to be righted. Prophesying of the coming Day of the Lord, Amos spoke those glorious words:

But there are times when we must just let something go. Sometimes it is a small hurt; sometimes it is an unintentional slight. The context for this particular verse is that of a quarrel: v 17 speaks of the passer-by meddling in someone else’s quarrel; vv 18-19 speaks of the person who says something hurtful or hateful and then claims to be ‘only joking’; v 21 speaks of the quarrelsome man who enjoys stirring up trouble, and v 22 of the whisperer whose gossiped poison incites like a wildfire.

And in the middle of all this is our verse 20. If we don’t let the whispering start, then the hate and hurt shut down. This is plain common sense, for all that it is contrary to human nature. Stop the whispering campaign. Why is it a ‘whisper’ in the first place? So that no one who knows the truth can hear the spreader of lies, rumors and innuendoes.

Get it all out in the open. Get everything on the up-and-up. Get it all explained.

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