I've Been Thinking About This…

You might argue that a man has 2 fathers – a biological one and a spiritual one. The biological one can be the best he can be; prudent as all get-up; a great teacher and a wonderful example to follow. Where tangible gifts are concerned, however, the best he can ever pass on is still just ‘stuff’ – and sometimes there’s a lot to pass on, sometimes not.

The heavenly Father has a higher dimension to His giving – more than mere ‘things’, He can arrange for the gift of a spouse who is both a match for our temperament and a complement for our competences; and it’s only together that we both have and can create life in its full abundance.

While on the one hand we should see this as applying to both sexes, and the gift for a woman would perhaps be a prudent husband as well, we should on the other hand also recognize that the reader is expected to think back through Scripture to see who might qualify as the prudent wife of the verse. There we meet women such as Rahab (Heb 11:31), Ruth (Ruth 2:2), Hannah (1 Sam 2:1) and Abigail (1 Sam 25:3). Lord spare us from Rebekah (read of her deceit in Gen 27) and Michal (her scorn in 2 Sam 6:20), not to mention the women who arrived after this book was written – Athaliah (2 Kings 11:1) and her mother Jezebel (2 Kings 9:22 – someone so thoroughly bad that she is considered the quintessence of that role by the time Rev 2:20 is written)!

Checking the context, we should also recognize that our verse follows this phrase, “a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.” The constant bickering of the wife described in v. 13 is a continual reminder that she thinks of herself alone; she does not love her husband; she resents being married to him; she could have done better if she had made the choice in her right mind, and so on and so on and so on. Tiring just to write of it! What a living nightmare to have to exist with someone who finds fault at every turn! And of course, let’s not forget that the problem can apply with a husband as well as a wife.

The other side of the coin was found in the previous chapter:

… someone who can join with a man and turn a life into Living. It’s the human equivalent of making a house a home. This sentiment of the ideal wife is to be found throughout most of the final chapter of Proverbs (Prov 31:10-31) as well.

Libraries have been written on the subject – what am I supposed to say in a few paragraphs?

There is one thing I would add, though, and it is this: we would do well to ask ourselves what it was that brought about this contentiousness in the quarrelsome wife. Did it happen in a vacuum? Had the husband no part in it? It’s never appropriate to declare brokenness in another person and so condemn them. We need to dig deeper, because even if we aren’t the ‘breaker’, we might be part of the problem that stops them from mending. In which case, we need to own up to it, apologize and start fixing matters.

   Send article as PDF   

During the nearly 300 years of Border Wars between England and Scotland (1296-1568), a group from one country would frequently raid the other, with the intent of looting sheep and cattle. These raids would be of the fast-in-fast-out kind, not stopping for any prolonged battle. To protect against the raids, some farmers built special houses in the form of a tower. The bottom was essentially a reinforced stable, and on the top was the house, complete with a house’s sloping roof and chimney. The image above shows the Smailholm Tower near Kelso, about an hour’s drive from where I used to live. It was possible to keep watch for raiders, bring in the herd (which would have been tiny by today’s standards) into the lower part of the tower, then lock everything up tight and safe. Raiders wouldn’t waste their time in a siege, knowing that help would arrive before they could prevail.

The name of the Lord is a tower such as this: close by, protecting, too strong to break down, with help within reach. He who runs into this Tower is kept safe.

The prophet Joel was referring to the power of this name when he wrote

(a passage that Paul echoed in Rom 10:13)

   Send article as PDF   

(Similarly Prov 27:21: “The melting-pot is for silver and the cricuble for gold, but praise is a test of character.”) The meaning of this verse has to be fairly obvious, but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept: just as silver and gold are put into the furnace to melt them down into their essential elements – in order to both purify them and mold them – so the Lord tests hearts by burning away the dross to bring about purity.

1. Sometimes this testing is internal, coming in the form of conviction of sin:

God isn’t impressed by the wealth we manage to create here on earth; He’s interested in spiritual growth, and that can only happen when we surrender to Him. The more we give ourselves over, the more He is honored; the more we empty ourselves of ‘self’ the fuller we get of Him.

2. Sometimes the testing is external, coming in the form of persecution:

The fight isn’t always an internal one. It will always be an uphill challenge to spread the Gospel, but not only is strength is promised if we persist, but personal improvement will also take place.

3. But in the end, “It’s not about you”:

All of the great works done on earth are accomplished through the wisdom and grace of God. If these 24 elders represent the highest of all humanity, the greatest desire of each is to honor God with his best – which he only gained in the first place because God tested him in the furnace.

   Send article as PDF   

When we go on a journey, especially one of any length, we make plans. We book the flight, the hotel, the car; a full itinerary. This is what we expect. It may not be what happens, though, and that’s where the second part comes in. Sometimes the Lord adjusts things on our journey and it turns out to be very different from our expectations – a missed flight; a flat tire; a full hotel; an unexpected bump-up to first class; a wallet stolen. The details don’t always work out according to plan, either for a journey or for a life.

I tend to think that, since this is my life, everything that happens to me is meant to guide me to a certain end – and to a degree that’s true. But it’s not the entire case. I’m not that important. Sometimes what happens to me is more for the benefit of someone else who will be affected by that happening. And the rough rule of thumb, I think, is that the more intense the experience, the wider the circle of people that are affected.

I think of Corrie ten Boom: without the horrific experiences in the Nazi concentration camps, her message could not have touched lives the way it did. She had to go through the crucible to become the pure gold whose witness was used by God to bring healing and peace to so many. John Bunyan spent years in prison, but that allowed him the time and reflection to write some of the greatest Christian prose in Pilgrim’s Progress. It’s not always hard times – sometimes there are serendipities – but I think it usually comes as a wrench, because God needs to bump you out of your current comfortable path so His work can proceed. He’s guiding your steps.

   Send article as PDF   

The phrase ‘The fear of the Lord’ occurs 26 times in the ESV Old Testament, and 13 of those are in Proverbs. It’s an odd phrase to use, because it carries with it a sense of craven behavior along with cringing terror of God’s reprisal on our part – and that’s not at all what God desires. Further, the man who ‘fears the Lord’ is the one who walks with Him and has wisdom. The man without fear of the Lord is the one who doesn’t walk with Him. You’d think it would be the other way ‘round, wouldn’t you? That the man who wasn’t God’s friend would be the one with the fear.

The real sense of the phrase, of course, is that the wise man has an appropriate awareness of God’s holiness, righteousness, power, completeness, purity, grace, sovereignty and a host of other attributes. As a result, that man sees some of the vast glory of the Lord and can only stand in awe of Him, whilst seeing himself as a person of miniscule size and importance by comparison. It is a healthy view! But it should bring us to our knees in response – hence the ‘fear of the Lord’.

The verse now becomes clear – the person who has such a view of God has more important things to think about than getting material wealth. He already has eternity with an infinitely glorious Being to anticipate. The person lacking the most basic understanding of God, however, has nothing but this life to look forward to – and he may be halfway through it already! He’d better hurry up and enjoy what he can, be he ever so rich, because time is running out.

   Send article as PDF   

It’s easy to criticize someone (a friend, or a political or spiritual leader) for a bad attitude or decision, or for falling into some sin, but we have no idea what was going on in his mind to produce that result. We feel entitled to comment upon so many decisions that are made by others, based on information that we may have gotten from some other source – such comments are called ‘unwanted advice’ when addressed to the person with the problem, or ‘gossip’ when talking about him to others.

Further, each person’s tolerance for difficulties is different, so what might drive one person to the edge of suicide might only seem like a challenging problem to another. No matter how close I am to another person, there will be times when I cannot plumb the depths of their hurt. Truth to tell, much of the time they cannot fully understand it either.

The heart is such a private place, and we keep our boundaries in place so well, that it seems as if we can drown in grief without others knowing. There were times when even those connected to God most closely – the prophets – couldn’t see what troubled someone:

Some miseries only God in His perfect insight will resolve – and that not yet:

Compassion. That would be nice.

   Send article as PDF