Extol her for the fruit of all her toil, and let her labours bring her honour in the city gate
– Prov 31:31
The end of Proverbs – we’ve made it through all 31 chapters. And how appropriate to end up at this chapter that lauds the wife. Marriage is more than a contract. It is a 2-sided life-long commitment that must be adhered to without let-up. Diving in with both feet, supporting each other to the fullest, being strong where the other is weak, and each trusting the other’s strength to cover one’s weakness – these are some of the graces of the best marriages, and so they are shown here.
It is clear that this is a fairly wealthy household. The mistress of the house has servant girls to manage (v. 15); buys a field with her own money (v. 16), and is hardly likely to plant the entire field herself, so she must also be managing farm hands. She has applied herself in the past and can sew (vv. 21, 22, 24), weave (v. 19) and trade in the marketplace (vv. 14, 18, 24). She is also generous to the poor and needy (v. 20).
It is also clear that this is a marriage that has continued for years. She has raised children who are well-fed and clothed (v. 15, 21) as well as respectful (v. 28). Her husband is one of the village or town elders (v. 23).
The gates of a village, town or city were important places in the ancient Middle Eastern world. It was where the elders gathered (Job 29:7). They could see goods and people enter and leave the city – an important job for the elders, for it took the pulse of the community. Inbound people could ask for directions. Farmers off to their fields would be seen and noted. The poor could ask for alms (Amos 5:12). Discussions of weather and war would take place. Boaz came to the gates of Bethlehem to redeem and ensure his marriage to Ruth (Ruth 4:1-12, esp. v. 11), for this was where justice was executed and witnessed (Amos 5:15; Deut 25:7).
So when, “her works praise her in the gates” (Prov 31:31, ESV), just who is telling people about her works? Her husband, of course. Verse 23 says that her husband sits among the elders of the land in the gates, and he’s obviously been bragging on her in a big way. By the way, just because we don’t hear anything about what the husband is doing in the chapter, it would be wrong to assume he sits around in the gates all day doing nothing. This chapter is a paean to her, not to him.
The thing is, such boasting as the husband is doing has a manifold impact. First it protects the marriage from outside attack because it tells the listeners that he thinks highly of her. Secondly, the listeners naturally feel they should respond with some bragging on their own wives – which can only be a good thing. Thirdly, the word gets passed on to others, possibly people who will trade with her or just chat on the street, who will see her in an ever better light. Fourthly it will get back to her – and whilst it is always nice to hear a compliment first-hand, it is even better to hear it second- or tenth-hand.
What an excellent thing it would be if every husband would follow suite and boast daily about his wife!